I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
