Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
