Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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