Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
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