Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
