You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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