its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
