The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
