Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize