you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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