plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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