i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
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Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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