never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
