We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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