I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
