my mouth tastes like poor choices
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
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she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
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Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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