I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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