I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize