i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
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