she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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