He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
How's work?
Spinning.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
