Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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