if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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