i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
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If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
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I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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