We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
