I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
