i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
