HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
