just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize
