You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
A bitchslap is in order.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
