I love watching others lives come down to our level.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
