the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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