I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
