Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
My ass is underappreciated
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
