if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
