Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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