They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
