so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
