It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
