Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
