My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
