I'm really into asian looking animals
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
