he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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