Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
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She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
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I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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