He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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