carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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