giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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