people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
