Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
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