i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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