bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
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Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
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I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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