I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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